Cafe Conversations on Underage Drinking

       Thank you everyone for your participation in the Dorey Park and Godwin High School Town Hall meetings.  

How do you feel about Underage Drinking?

What do you see in your community?

Dorey Park Town Hall

Lack of awareness about the issue

Social issue is not addressed.  It is a school, parent, law enforcement issue

Need more coverage

Underage drinking is wrong, and it encourages irresponsibility

Education begins at home

Need more resources and support in our schools

Marijuana/pills are in the community and it is easily accessible

Start education about this issue in middle school

Use school resources like peer helpers and community resources like Too Smart to Start and MADD

No assemblies or marketing approaches are being used to promote no drinking

Community is reactive to problems and issues as oppose to proactive

Health and Safety should be a primary concern

Problem of drinking in the home and in the community

Parents giving alcohol and substances to youth with the idea that it is a controlled environment

Drugs are more hidden.  Selling drugs, availability of prescription pills are all issues

Role of the parents need to be to ask more questions

Need to make it a serious issue, get more parental involvement to convey the message.  Put into place the Prom Promise and other similar activities.

Parents giving in to their children

The Laws of Virginia: Parents can serve alcohol to their children; seen as a contradiction

Drinking is socially acceptable

Neighborhood kids know which homes to go to for drinks

Parents who model drinking behavior

The consequences of drinking on family members

What is the role of Parents in Helping children and youth to make healthy choices?

Parents and youth need to build relationships that will help to gain an understanding with each other and more respect.

Parents should be positive role models

Teachers need to demonstrate caring and concern

Help children not to grow up too fast

Help teens/youth to deal with anger and learn coping strategies for disappointments

Parents need to open up and share with children about health issues and social issues

Important to think carefully before taking unsafe actions

Tell youth why use of alcohol and drugs is unsafe

Resources are needed to help parents be aware of what is available to assist with today’s issues.

Parents need to understand how to navigate the system

Parents working long hours to provide for their family impacts the quality of family life; but survival is critical to the family unit

More mental health and SA counseling is needed

Additional strategies of art therapy/creative writing may be useful

Male role models are needed

More involvement in sports, summer teen programs, PAL, summer work programs and Connect after school programs

Change the mindset of parents that it can’t happen to me or it can’t happen to my child

Parent speaks from experience, share dangers.  Discussions should be persistent and ongoing

Monitor children: Ask questions, Where? Who? What?  Institute curfews and follow up

Start monitoring, disciplining at an early age: cannot switch all of a sudden and say “you can’t do this” when you were permissive before.

Move after school activities/parties

Community activities include participation with the YMCA, places to play basketball, etc.

Deal with the violence that is in schools and neighborhoods

Address the college issue and message that “everyone is going to drink”.  Plan a sober sock hop.

Encourage building a good self image within the family

Family cultures, customs, beliefs, ideals and expectations may different.

Peer modeling is important also.

Expose parents to what their children are really doing.

Parents need to be empowered; children have more power than parents

Set clear expectations-be consistent

Parents need to be a broken record, the second conscience.

How do you feel about Underage Drinking?

What do you see in your community?

Godwin High School

Anti Underage Drinking

Ok to drink on special occasions

Get it from parents, giving it to kids, getting it from older siblings and friends, knowing someone at the grocery stores, raiding the garage, etc.

Mostly beer usage because it is cheep

Thinks 35% of seniors using alcohol is low

Alcohol use is showing up on face book, but police can’t do anything without possession.

Kids are just dumb or are they smarter, or just common sense

Scares parents to death

Fatalities from drinking and driving

High correlation of alcohol/drug and criminal activity/rape etc. 

House/Neighborhood parties can be prevalent

Moral issues

Online profiles follow you are even looked at by potential employers

Media and local stories of abuse and the outcomes, i.e. fights, accidents, parents need to take responsibility

Kids are watching and imitating more than listening-so be an example

Guidance counselors, sage adults as safe resources for kids to talk to

Imitating of parents/adults

Naïve Parents

Lax Attitudes

Desire to be best friends with kids

Beliefs based on own personal experience

Parents fighting the kids battles/consequences, not allowing youth to feel the consequences of their actions

Permissive parenting, due in part to parents not wanting to parent the way they were parented

Valuing achievement over effort/character

Advertising (media, sports, games)

Idealistic to believe kids won’t drink at college

Does unsafe high school behavior lead to unsafe college behavior?

Party crashers is working

Kids do understand the ramifications of underage drinking

Virginia requiring court appearances to get license is a good thing

What is the role of Parents in Helping children and youth to make healthy choices?

Remind them to think about who they are getting in the car with

Have an open line of communication and an open invitation to call for help

18 vs. 21: the farther you push out the age you are postponing the start age

Need to have conversations focus on decision making

Telling/reinforcing postponement-statistics on longer you wait the less probability of dependence

Set rules and set consequences

Talk to parents of your children’s friends

If your children have a site or page have all the passwords

Talk to your kids all the time

Don’t get mad at mistakes-talk heart to heart

Keep youth busy-involved in church, missions, etc.

Check up on where they are-confirm with calls and drive by visits

Involve kids in after school activities

Support Party crashers

Make sure adults set the right example

Teaching that having a designated driver sends mix messages

Parental restrictions work

More testimonies from young survivors to impact the youth

Need to interact with friends of our children to understand the influences that may be present

More school programs to highlight this issue

Make sure legal consequences are applied

Parents need to keep the dialogue open

Start at a young age working on communication skills with our children

Provide a safe, drug free environment for our youth

Use children as a resource

Network with other parents

Role modeling is extremely important

Educate youth on the needs of growing bodies and brain

Youth should lose driving rights if engaging in risky behavior

Have a contract with youth outlining rules and consequences

Use the tip line

Parents can set up a telephone tree among their neighbors

Raise the driving age

Can parents teach their kids to drink responsibly? (Came up on a couple of the notes)

Parents can take the blame for the hard decisions.  Use us.

Resources needed to help empower children and parents

Clearly understand that the parents’ role is to help children make healthy choices

Set clear boundaries about what is expected, and what is not acceptable.

Identify and take advantage of teachable moments

Ask questions as to what youth see in school and social settings

Continue with town hall meetings/workshops (mentioned numerous times)

Do not allow children under the age of 21 to drink in the home

Teach young people do not get in the car with someone who has been drinking.

Draw on the parents’ experience that may be helpful to youth